sleep. fourteen hours of it, i outslept the sun on both sides of overnight. it's a rainy monday today, more than just a little to get done.

i started the day with tea and typos, pulled up some job listings and made notes of things to pursue later in the day, and after a quick meal of what was left chinese, i set to the boxes and bundles that have become my bedroom over the last few months.

i'm not all that old, but i'm old enough now that much of my non-causal memories have begun to blend into a more holistic picture of the past. for someone like me, that's merciful, far too long have i been tied to far too many sentimental but meaningless things. each year or so when i dig into my own physical archives i remember less of what's attached to many of the things i packrat around, and on each occasion i've tossed more and more things that only a year ago still seemed somehow important. i have no need for a personal museum i only visit out of frustration with clutter.

who gave me this seashell at some romantic moment? who did i scribble off that poem for? why in amongst my books and actually important papers do i have squirreled away a christmas card from 1994? who gave me this wristwatch, a decade dead, and do i actually believe one day i'll get a battery and actually wear it?

my favourite moment in today's adventure was coming across a scrap of somewhat posh stationery, upon which a girlish hand had written some torn thoughts and finished with, “i wish things were different.” no doubt the hand was attached to someone who at the time most intently held my interest; no doubt today i'd probably have trouble picking them out of a police line-up. hey, what do you know, turns out things are different.

two green bags to the dumpster, more to follow tomorrow.

the rain cleared and the cats were antsy for their bedroom back. i decided to spend the early afternoon trying to collect photos of the great big world. i didn't make it much past the familiar streets of downtown, and today i saw little new in them. i set to sating my newfound panoramic penchant, seems these days it takes software to remake what's old anew. it went something like this:

click on the image for the much larger version.

otherwise of note, i did do a few shots in the provincial legislature (green-domed building in the centre of the panorama):

the above shot makes me adore my camera. below, i can't help but think the light coming in is everything the artisans who crafted this particular confluence of glass were dreaming of:

day one of any of my vacations in the last few years has been mostly about overcoming the shock of sleeping in, and of not having to be back on any set schedule for days and days on end. to that end, more than any other aspect, i embrace the freedom and reject any sort of hardened stigma on my days. i am random hair, i am stubble, i am naps and dreams and far too much time touching noses with my dearest cats. i am afternoons and early summer evenings, i am any old time of day at all. or no time, it is my leisure.

i can't believe how much of myself, so often seemingly so long lost, comes flooding back in when there's a dearth of ridiculous obligation. i am no more into this coming week than i'd be were this just a regular day off, but it's different. deliciously so.

as an aside, today i have called this island my home for 18 years, in not so long i'll have lived here half my life. there are many things right now i wish were different, but all are present/future, whatever in the past it took to find me here today is fine by me.